I have decided not to feel guilty while writing this post... because I do have so many amazing people in my life, friends and family. Even some great friends here in St. George that are only ten minutes away. There are lots of people I can call when I feel sad or lonely, But today I just want to write what is without rationalization or trying to figure out how to make it better.... sometimes I get lonely.,,,
Our new neighborhood is great. There are tons of kids, and I'm pretty sure my kids don't get lonely. There is always someone to play with if they want it. However, the adults is a different story. Don't get me wrong, everyone is very friendly, and there is one girl who does try to invite me to do stuff occasionally but our schedules are always a little bit off. However, in general there isn't someone to hang out with during the day. Not everyday, just you know a couple of times a week to go to the park, or talk to while you watch your kids play. I'm busy as all moms are, but sometimes you just need a friend to hang out with for a little while. I am still undetermined if there are people who hang out together or if everyone is just busy doing their own thing. Houses, while wonderful can be a dividing factor I've decided. Everyone has their own yard to send their kids to, there isn't a communal playground or pool....My visiting teachers' kids play with my kids and serve with me in church. They are busy, and assume I am as well, so they count those activities as their visiting teaching, I would love them to come over and chat....The same applies on weekends. Justin sometimes gets lonely too....He misses the beach on Saturday mornings and ward BBQs. There are no families to hang out with, everyone is just busy; with activities, projects, their own extended families etc....Utah can be hard, not only is their a ton of extended family, but there are so many young families that it's not instinctive to all hang out together. If you tried to include everyone, every time it would get crazy very quickly. I am starting to feel like a broken record, I have invited people to the park countless times, I have tried to arrange playgroups, and date nights with other couples, but nothing yet....
For now we will keep plugging along, inviting, treasuring our old friends,looking for others who might sometimes get lonely, and give it time. And realize that it's OK to sometimes get lonely.
1 comment:
Well said - You hit on some very good points, I agree that when people live by their families it makes it harder for friend time, at least that is an observation I share. I wish it wasn't so- I mean I wish you didn't have to choose between living by family and having good friends, but in reality that is what it feels like. I also liked your hypothesis that when you live by lots of young families it is also harder. When we lived in Boston our ward spanned maybe 50 miles - and there were only a handful of young couples and so it made it easy to make this your core group of friends. (side note- guess who was the one couple who could never seem to get together..the one with family nearby). There were also only a few married students in Sam's dental school class, so again something about that made it easy to choose someone to call to go to dinner etc. Chinle was interesting but had many perks in the friend department - small backyards but large fenced front yards - meant kids would play out front (trampolines were in the front yard etc) meaning it was easy to see if a friend was out playing, we also did the most getogethers (neighborhood mardi gra parade and dinner, annual easter egg hunts, campfires to roast marshmellows (again-right in the front yard). Here in Colorado its a town full of nice people - but most people only live here if they are from here - meaning family is near by. After being here 7 months I have planned a girls night for this weekend - I picked the day based on when one good friend said she could come - now she isn't sure because her neice has a birthday party.. kind of disappointed about that but hopefully some will be able to make it. I definitely think as adults you have to be much for active about it - not like in high school when you just saw people every day so naturally became friends. I defintely see there is a part that gets harder as families get bigger (where I once could invite 3-4 friends over at the same time, now when each has 3-4 kids it makes me think twice about how many and who to invite.) just a few more random thoughts :)
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