My Thoughts On Friends

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”

I have been thinking a lot about friends - as I mentioned on a previous post, and a recent conversation with my extended family got me thinking again.

Recap of conversation:

Apparently the bishop in my Mom's ward asked a couple to speak specifically on friends, and their experiences here in St. George. They said that:

-There are so many good people here. They all say hello, are nice to their kids etc.

-And not once in 3 years has anyone invited them into their home, to dinner etc (and I have to add Mom's background, that this particular couple is really good at including everyone) In other words they have not been waiting around for people to come to them.

So we started talking about this one Sunday evening with my extended family - mind you these are 90% people who were born and raised in St. George - and even the ones born and raised have struggled with friends a little bit.

So it got me thinking again... why are friends so important? Why would a bishop feel that this was such an important topic that it needed to be addressed in sacrament meeting? I recently read a novel in which the family were pioneers. They lived a very isolated life, having contact mainly with their family and hired help - and they were happy.......

Now I have to say my need for friends has changed over time. Up through high school and college I didn't have a lot of close friends, (partly because I was slightly distracted by boys) but I always had at least one, and these three in particular i have kept in touch with. I guess I was just not as social. I even used to tell people I didn't feel good so I could stay home and read in high school. I got caught once when a group of my friends brought me a balloon to help me feel better:) I add these pictures mainly so you can laugh at me.

I know you all love this beauty. We were cool then I swear!
My college roommate Cami AKA Camilla (she introduced herself to me as Camilla when I first met her, I think she was trying to reinvent herself at college because the name didn't last - I still smile when I think about it Cami:)
My friend through high school - Amber

So here is what I have come up with - and I know that it's fairly intuitive, but it has helped me to think about it:

• Friends enrich our lives. They offer different perspectives, and really just enrich any experience. My Mom has a really close group of friends as well - they call themselves the "Arizona Mafia" giggle giggle - and I can honestly say besides my own group of friends these ladies have enriched my life in so many ways. They were all their for my wedding and other important occasions, and even back in high school I remember talking to one in particular about how not genius it was to date a non member, and that conversation stuck. Our friends not only enrich our lives, but the lives of those close to us.
• We learn from them
• It pushes us outside our comfort zone - teaches us to communicate better - the art of conversation
• Teach us compassion,This happened to me yesterday. In one grocery trip; Anna bit Josh, tried to jump out of the cart, had my children screaming on several occasions, both figured out how to get out of the cart and run up and down the aisles, Josh screamed, "I am sooo hungry why don't you feed me" at the top of his lungs, while Anna screamed "Poopy!" and Anna totally unbuttoned my shirt on the way out of the store. And I called Ashlee almost in tears because I was sure she had had a similar experience, don't worry she had - ask her about Arleigh and Ross.
• Give us opportunities to serve. It really adds a better dimension and sense of purpose to our lives to be able to be of use to others by babysitting, bringing meals, treats, someone to talk to. After all, as Amber would say, "Everything needs a purpose to help it's self esteem" (This quote was applied to a garbage sack in high school - don't ask)
• Help us to become Christlike. If we didn't make the effort to reach out, looking for friends, or for those we could help I think it would be very difficult to achieve perfection in Christ. Which leads to the question: Can a person who is a hermit by choice truly have charity? Which means, while friend bring so many things to me, my focus should really be outward, looking for ways to help them, and always looking for others who may need a friend.

And after all these thoughts I have to admit, I had a fabulous group of friends in LA, but I got lazy, I stopped looking around for others that wanted to be included - I had more of an inward focus on what I needed an outward one. So hopefully I won't get like that here - I mean I would like to develop a fabulous group of friends - but I want to stay as much as possible outward focused - looking, noticing and praying. It has been surprisingly fulfilling to me to move and to be constantly reaching out to new people.

That said, as part of my catching up, I never posted pictures from our wonderful trip to San Francisco in May. (side note: I have one close friend from LA in particular whom I did not know that well when we planned this trip, so I hope that she does not feel excluded in anyway, because we will definitely invite her for 2012)

Trying to document how steep the streets are.
Lindsay was our fashion consultant and photographer. She taught us how to back comb out hair, picked out our clothes and helped us with nail color. Ahh if we could all look like Lindsay all the time:)
We all went and got manicures and pedicures one morning and literally took over the salon for 2 plus hours.
The dinner where the idea for SF was born - I know I look slightly drunk...
Melissa - our researcher and guide.
In the elevator on the way to our rooms, do we look way too excited or what?
Picking names for room sharing so no one would get their feelings hurt.

Natalie enjoying her giradelli square treat. We asked her if she wanted to split something but she gave us the evil eye.
Our hotel was right across from Union Square. Lots of fun childless shopping.
View of the city from the top of one those really tall hills that we walked up. We did actually try and walk to Golden Gate Park. We finally got tired and hired a taxi, it was a 15-20 minute taxi ride....
Golden Gate Park.
In our new purchases before dinner at a great restaurant.

Highlights Include:

Hearing everyone's how I met my husband story, and engagement story. Melissa wins the prize for most drama- I thought I was dramatic, but no.... She will definitely have to write the story out for her blog sometime

Having everyone share their favorite scripture on Sunday - really cool thoughts

Cheesecake factory

squash, cheese and pesto sandwich

waffles

crepes - are we noticing a theme

running in the morning down by the water - the majority of us were training for a 5K

So so fun. So so grateful for modern technology that allows us to keep in touch now that we are spread world wide.

Addendum.... I have to add after this post that I do consider my family my best friends- I wouldn't want them to feel overlooked. And I am so happy to be by so many of them, it has made it so much easier. After the above grocery experience I also called my Mom and my sister.... a girl needs many forms of validation right?